An Unshaven Collection of Bad Habits Marinated in Alcohol

So, I have a lot of stuff to do today! I have meds to pick up, a geriatric dog to take to the vet to get her toenails cut (my geriatric dog has very sensitive toenails, also doing it grosses me out), and a picture to print out so I can put it in a peacock frame and give it to my best friend's mom as a thank you gift about a month late. So I got up early today. To get a head start on all these chores? No, so I could

MAINLINE THE FUCK OUT OF PARKS & REC SEASON 3!!!!

Seriously, all of those exclamation points and sparkles are ESSENTIAL to relate to you just how excited I am by P&R. I just finished "Eagleton," where Leslie has that adorable birthday dinner for Ron. I just love her, so much. Like, I'm not even kidding when I say I want to be her. She is my song and declaration of faith and I hella admire her thoughtfulness and general goodness. ♥

Plus just all the little details! I love the level of world-building that goes into the whole thing, just the little callbacks and jokes that get reused. A lot of it reminds me of older Simpsons? I mean, obviously the Pawnee-Eagleton rivalry owes a lot to those Springfield-Shelbyville episodes (quick someone write a fic where the Eagletonians are bougie jerks all about marrying their cousins!) but the funny thing is that P&R is far more original and interesting about using older Simpsons' ideas that new!Simpsons is about cannibalizing old episodes' ideas. (I assume? I don't think I've watched any new Simpsons for at least a year if not more.)

For some reason the little detail that makes me laugh the hardest thinking about is Leslie trying to get Ron to go see the World's Largest Rocking Chair on the way to Indianapolis (the brochure says: "IT'S HUGE!") Every year my parents, my brother, and I go up to our family reunion outside Eveleth, Minnesota, which is home to the World's Largest Hockey Stick, so, yes, this is a thing.

The fact that I stopped in the middle of watching to write this entry speaks a lot for my self-control, so good job me! Probably doesn't speak very well for my "actually doing useful things" initiative, though, ha, oops.

This was pretty much inevitable. Also I got more of a kick out of using the Troy icon than I should have.

Title: Simple Tricks and Nonsense
Fandom: Star Wars: A New Hope
Word Count: 3028
Rating: R
Characters: Han/Leia/Luke
Warning(s): (highlight to reveal) Well, incest, obviously. Inadvertent incest. I'm not sure if that defense holds up in court or not.
Notes: Thanks to custardpringle for beta-ing.

Summary: The experimental protocol droid in the barroom on Yavin IV was the start of all of Princess Leia's problems. In a way.


( Analysis shows: 40 percent chance of Skywalker imbibing enough alcohol to induce vomiting. 30 percent chance of Skywalker and Solo engaging in fisticuffs or impromptu lightsaber/extra-long drink straw battle-- )

Hello, flist/circle! I added a bunch of people a few weeks ago during the 3W4DW Social Anxiety Friending Meme and then, for reasons that I hope are obvious, didn't update for like six weeks after that. Anyway, hello, new friends and old! Sorry it took so long for me to, like, say stuff.

So, what have I been up to? Well, many things: I've been using 750words.com to start a daily writing habit and, as a consequence, I've been starting a few fics for Doctor Who (which I am loving thise season.) I've signed up at the LJ comm ficfinishing in the hopes of finishing one (or all!) of them before they're made obsolete by new episodes.

For whatever reason, though, the story that has the most momentum right now is the one that doesn't have a deadline. I started writing a Star Trek: TOS/Star Wars crossover for the lulz, and now it's about 10,000 words of Uhura/McCoy/Han Solo sex and heist shenanigans. The working title is "How Uhura made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs." There...really is no excuse for this.

But anyway, as a consequence of this I'm rewatching the original trilogy. Because I'm worried about making Chewbacca in-character. It's difficult to imagine what his speech patterns must sound like in Shryiiwook! So anyway, expect a post about "A New Hope" later, because now that I haven't updated in weeks it's imperative that I do it like three times in a day. Duh.

So, in conclusion: nice to meet you, new f/rlisters, and I apologize in advance.

You're now a Time Lord. The 41st picture in your folder is your companion. The 17th is your arch enemy.

So this my companion:

And this is my arch enemy:

I have to wonder who would be worse: Barry as a criminal mastermind (HA) or Starburns as a plucky companion. I think I'd prefer Starburns in a more ancillary role. Like as my drug dealer or something.

Basically I want ( all the spoilers )

I am one of those instant gratification types who also isn't that bothered about spoilers, so in many cases I will go weeks or maybe even months without enjoying my stories until suddenly I'm like FUCK IT I CAN STAND IT NO MORE and will stay up all night to watch them all at once. This is how I have enjoyed some of my favorite shows (Arrested Development, A:tLA) and also how I slogged through some of the stuff I didn't particularly care for but didn't mind watching anyway (most of Doctor Who seasons 2 through 4 comes to mind, with a few exceptions, natch.) Similarly, I also like to go weeks without updating my journal and then suddenly, without warning, dump a bunch of tl;dr on your flists/circles.

Anyway, the point of all that is that I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS CLIFFHANGER SHIT, YOU GUYS. I need the conclusion of "The Impossible Astronaut," but apparently BBC America have decided to air all the DW episodes at the same time as in the UK in order to discourage pirates. Pirates like me! THIS IS AWFUL.

( spoilery thoughts on The Impossible Astronaut )

In conclusion: BE SATURDAY NOW.

So, I haven't updated in about 20 years, sorry about that. And now that I AM updating I'm doing it from an impossibly tiny mini laptop I'm borrowing from my mom because in the past two weeks I have somehow managed to put BOTH of our household's main computers out of comission, which is upsetting but also a little impressive, if I do say so myself.

Anyway, hi! I came back for one purpose and one purpose only, and that is: to do this silly WIP meme that's been going around.

( yeahhhhhh )

Also this is not on Gdocs because I started it after I abused all our poor laptops so badly, but I am continuing the tradition of inapppropriate Community crossovers with one where Eleven and Amy save Greendale from some vague alien threat. I think in the end Abed and Amy should run off together and run their own detective agency, though, amirite?

Dear Yuletide writer,

Ack! I put this off too late and now you probably got linked to a placeholder, for which I am truly sorry. Despite appearances to the contrary, I am SO excited for you to write a fic for me, and obviously usual disclaimers in these types of letter apply: you should take everything I say as only a guideline and can disregard it if it's not your thing.

So! Random shit I like: prison escape stories, stupid sitcom-esque plots, bantering, ~chosen families~, robots, dogs, robot dogs.

( shit specific to my fandoms that I like )

Thank you so much! I am sure I will love whatever you write for me. ♥

Title: Mistakes
Author: neigedens
Rating: Teen; no warnings
Word Count: 500 words
Notes: Written for the brittaanniethon on LJ for lenina20, who wanted Britta/Annie/Abed future fic.

( Read more... )

You were just thinking "Man, when is Briana going to finish that Community/MST3K crossover fic she started writing 3 months ago?" SURE YOU WERE.

Title: Experiment 513: Kickpuncher (Part 2 of 2)
Word Count: 1260 (this part)
Notes: Still dancesontrains's fault. Same notes apply as in Part One. Also, if you don't know what The Human Centipede is, I would suggest asking a trusted friend or family member because they might have more consideration for your delicate sensibilities than the wiki summary or anything you might Google would.

Summary: Troy and Abed's summer temp job goes a little off the rails.

( I would totally let you be the front part of the centipede, for what it's worth )